Nice of Google to joke about retirement … But they know how to draw, that’s for sure.

I wish I was as good in baking as they are in drawing…

Very difficult to get my wife out of the house, but a free spa did the trick

So I had some time to do bake her favorite dessert: lemon-cake!

What I learned in the corporate world now came in handy: always have a backup plan! In this case I already ordered a special lemon cake at the bakery a few villages further, in case mine looked a bit… well, the picture says it all…

Time to feed the geese some cakes, close the door of the kitchen to keep the smell, go to the bakery now and see how experienced charms still work

Happy Valentines!

Apart from marrying the world’s most beautiful women, Brad Pitt hobbies include:

• interior design,
   
• architecture
   
• nature
   
• collecting functional metal art pieces
   
• collecting furniture.

Now this post is not entirely about this little brat, but more about retirement and hobbies. Although when it comes to marrying the world’s most beautiful women, it’s a wise choice not to wait until you are retired. Especially not when you made your fortune already being in your 30′s.

Hobbies and retirement

First question my doctor asked me at my yearly check up after I retired was: "do you have a hobby"? According to him, people with a hobby live much longer than people without a hobby.

Now for me that was a needless question, as I love to spend a lot of time in my garden. And I took up blogging as well, although it would be ideal to have a wireless Internet connection so I could go blogging under my cherry-tree in my garden

Dying standing up

I needed to write this post because this Sunday in church, our retired butcher just stood up and died…

For him, his shop was his life.

He only closed his shop earlier this year and like I said: his shop was his life… no more shop and the poor guy passed away…

What are ideal hobbies when you are retired?

Of course that’s entirely up to you. Just try to remember what you loved to do when you were a kid and pick up from there.

My brother in law who retired 2 years ago quit smoking and at the same time enrolled in a photography-computer course. Meaning he learns how to take a nice picture and then plays around with it in Photoshop making slide-shows and all that.

All you need is a simple camera, a simple computer and… lots and lots of time! It’s an ideal hobby, especially when you learn to look from a different angle to the things you see in your every day life.

It’s always fun to get an email from him, as his pictures are original, not the normal forwarded jokes you get from everybody else. It shows what he is doing and how the world looks around him. And it keeps him away from those deadly cigarettes!

He also subscribed on a website where he sells his pictures for a very small fee. That is: if you need a picture, you pay a few cents to put their pictures on your website.

Making pocket-money is always great when you are retired I find, I do miss the monthly paycheck that used to come in but I love the extra pennies I make like selling my chicken eggs

Not to mention my waffles and my wife’s cakes when people are not buying enough eggs. We could start a bakery but hello: we are retired and we just do it for the fun of it!

Now my brother in law is not making a fortune yet selling his pictures. Unfortunately, he is still a far way off to take pictures from celebrities like those 2 latest Brad Pitt hobbies… But again: it’s the hobby part that’s the most important part.

We will give you a few free retirement speeches that you can customize to your own needs and ideas. Nothing wrong with using free speeches, as nobody will be listening anyway, unless you mention their names.

If you are as lucky as me to have a devoted secretary, you can ask her to write your retirement speech. Technically it won’t be free as the company is paying for it.

Anyway,
I asked my sexy secretary to write my speech and in return I wrote her appraisal letter way in advance.

I read my retirement speech out for the first time during my retirement party. Nothing could go wrong basically as I was one step out of the firm already

2 free written retirement speeches

Advertising your website of ‘after retirement business’

Advertising your own new retirement website is a great way to find out 2 things:

• who is actually listening to your retirement speech and
   
• who is actually interested in you by visiting your website later.

Here goes:

I found this free retirement speech at my new website called "Retirement Jokes".

 

It is hard to believe this day has finally come. I have to say that I have mixed feelings today. It is wonderful to look forward to a future of more leisure and getting around to many of the things that I always said I would do “someday”, but I also feel some sadness at leaving what has been such an important part of my life.

 

This company is like a family and though I know I will see many of you around town, this day is kind of like moving away from home. It has great promise and yet, knowing that I won’t see the members of my family every day anymore is hard to imagine.

 

I won’t see XXX every day as I walk into the building, there at the front desk. I won’t see YYY at the desk in front of my office door. I won’t see all the rest of you in the hallways and the lunchroom and we won’t be having those daily chats about the ZZZ and the AAA and when the winter is going to be over. I will miss all of you and all of the conversations, not just the ones I have mentioned.

 

But it is time to move on. I have enjoyed my time here at ABC International and I know we have done some great things.

 

I thank BBB for making this a great place to work and for all the support you have given me over the years. This is a great company and I know you will continue on continuing with the growth and innovation that has been the hallmark of this organization. I hope all of you feel as fortunate to work here as I have.

 

On a personal note I’d like to thank CCC for her tireless work on my behalf. And, my wife, DDD thanks you too because she knows that without you I would have been home later every night and she and the kids would never have seen me. Thanks for helping me and also for so often pushing me out the door when I thought there was just one more thing that needed to get done.

 

And thank you to DDD for your tireless support of me over these years. I love you, honey, and I look forward to all the plans we have made.

 

Thank you all for being here today and having this wonderful party for me. I feel richly blessed. Be well and I’ll see you around.

Always make sure to thank the tea-lady!

Well thank you, XXX, for these kind words. It was indeed XXX years ago that I set my first steps a bit trembling inside this head office. Had I known then what a roller coaster ride we were in for I might have trembled even more or turned right back to head out.

 

But ignorance was bliss in those days! I thought, innocently, that accepting XXX bribes was a natural thing to do. Good enough for a Cabinet minister’s spouse; good enough for me, I thought. But seriously, I was so blessed to be given the chance to help make this business into a household name.

 

I only want to say a few words myself – I’ve done enough speaking for a lifetime!

 

But I do want to tell you how much I have appreciated some of the people and things that make this company so special – not just the business side, but the fun and laughter we have had – to say nothing of the long nights labouring away at last minute documents and deals.

 

As for XXX teatime treats – I think that’s what I am going to miss most!

 

XXX was right. I am leaving but I will be watching your progress with interest and I shall indeed be back.

 

I am certain you will all go on to achieve far better things than I did. If my legacy to you was time spent building this firm up, your legacy to me is one of comradeship, faith in teamwork and an abiding passion for XXX (things to eat or to drink).

 

I have just one final point to make – that is to thank you for the wonderful present. How could you have guessed that it was just what I wanted!!??

 

I now raise my glass to you and say farewell.

 

Thank you.

How to write a retirement roast speech

Of course humor is in the eye of the beholder. Make sure you don’t touch religion nor politics, other than that, try to make fun about:

• the first funny blooper, mistake or what have you about yourself! It’s always funny to joke about yourself, so you don’t step on anybodies toes.
   
• differences between when you started versus now
   
• important events and accomplishments everybody in the firm knows about
   
• the fact that you will keep in touch with everybody, therefore need some volunteers to do the job…

Don’t forget: the above free retirement speeches all come with a money back guarantee!

Not that we don’t want to, just that the weather is cold (the BBQ fire could help out…) and more sadly: it’s raining all the time.

So we did the next best thing: baking cookies and other goodies in the oven. Like that the house get’s warmer and it almost feels like having a BBQ when you grill some meat and add some potatoes in the oven:

Meanwhile mother-hen is doing fine, just that when she comes out of her nest to eat and drink and you know what, she gets attacked by the other chickens and the rooster still thinks he has to father her eggs… which she rigorously refuses!

If it keeps like that, I will have to go and fix a separate box for her. I gave mine to my son as his chickens started to hatch and mine kept on laying eggs…

Note to myself: never give away anything anymore in future…

• say that "I got this from Omblogsman"
• define who is Omblogsman
• change the picture at the bottom
• add 1 to the number of alterations made to that picture and
• than pass it on to someone else.

Sounds pretty easy to me and being retired, I do have some extra time on my hands

Who is Omblogsman?

The Omblogsman is THE one and only person to contact once you feel that your blog has been copied illegally…

Omblogsman : stolen, copied and altered image: 2 times

Who is the next to alter Omblogsman?

I pass this on to Add URL

Seriously: I took my wife to the doctor as she was having a flu and on top of that she couldn’t speak anymore.

Now I know lots of men would be very happy to have a wife like that…

Having said so, I drove her to the doctor who gave her an antibiotics jab on the spot. Although the only antibiotics we normally take are the ones we find in honey: this time her flu was getting really from bad to worse. A running nose is one thing, not being able to swallow and loosing your voice is another thing.

Anyway, gave her a warm cup of milk with some extra honey, and now she is happily sleeping away.

That gives me 5 minutes to write this post and then it will be me doing the cooking: Mashed potatoes, mashed anything to keep swallowing easy.

Best case scenario: the antibiotics works fast (that’s the whole idea for getting a double dose injected) and she can eat normally soonest. (And I can go gardening as I am eager to put some peas in the soil…).